When Your Daydreams Leave You Empty

We can all relate to looking to another person to meet our needs rather than looking to God. In today’s short video, Michelle shares how God revealed that her daydreams of finding love were actually keeping her from experiencing God's real Love that was available to her at that very moment.

Have you ever found yourself obsessing over an unfulfilled dream? Maybe it's that dream of buying a new Harley Davidson, or your dream trip to Hawaii, or maybe the idea of holding a newborn baby in your arms. 

Our unfulfilled dreams can harass us. And that's what happened to me when my life was a tangled mess. I found myself single again and longing to find love somewhere, from someone. One Christian man caught my attention and my mind went over the idea of a relationship with him again and again. I found myself entertaining make-believe conversations with him while driving in my car but every time I arrived at my destination, the fantasy ended and I felt more empty than ever. My need for love was driving the fantasy but the fantasy never fulfilled the need on some level. 

I was looking for love from a person when God was inviting me to get that love directly from Him.

One day, in the middle of going over and over that same old fantasy in my mind, God gave me the picture of a chew toy and I saw the connection right away. You see, the chew toy has no nutritional value whatsoever, just like my daydreams held no real love. My daydreams were just an activity that chewed up my time. When I began to really look at how I was drooling over a guy, I saw the chew toy for what it really was: a lifeless, loveless activity that was covered in my slimy spit, and it kept me from experiencing God's real Love that was available all the time. I pictured myself taking that wet, nasty chew toy and handing it over to Jesus. 

It's been a few years and I'm still single, but now as I drive down the road, instead of chewing on a daydream that leaves me empty, I enjoy God's actual presence and Love that satisfies my soul. Now, that's worth chewing on! 

Romans tells us, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 (NLT)

So, if you have your own chew toy, see it for what it really is: a distraction from experiencing the very Life and Love of God. What will you do with your chew toy? It's time to lay it down at Jesus' feet.

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He Is Faithful - What God Has Promised You

When things don’t work out the way we thought God said they would, it’s easy for us to believe that He’s broken His promises to us. In today’s short video, Pam reminds us that God always keeps His word and shares exactly what it is that God has promised us.

Promises, promises…

Some people are good at making promises, but not everyone is good at keeping their promises. There have been times in my life that I have failed to keep the promises I’ve made. There are times I’ve make promises without having all the information I needed to make it, times I didn’t know all the details of the situation, and times when I just jumped quickly to a conclusion and said, “Sure, I can do that!” I make promises but sometimes... I just can't; I don't have the ability to carry it out. 

We are humans and sometimes we promise things that we just can’t fulfill. But, I know One Person who always keeps His promises, and that’s God. 

God always, always keeps His promises. 

Now, sometimes we misunderstand what God promises, or we think God promises us that if we do this or that, then He'll do what we want: we’ll get the job we applied for or have the special relationship we’ve been hoping for. But God doesn’t always promise us physical, tangible outcomes - He does sometimes grant them, and certainly, in His Grace and Mercy, He always provides for us. 

So, what does God promise us? 

God promises us everything for our spiritual and emotional life. 

Spiritually, He promises that when we receive Him as our Savior, He will completely forgive us. He makes us a new creation and gives us a new identity. He also gives us a home in Heaven. In fact, it says in Scripture, “In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.” John 14:2-3 (NASB) See, what God tells you is true otherwise He wouldn't tell you. 

You can know that when God speaks to you through His Word, His promises are TRUE. 

God also fulfills His promises to our soul life, in the place of our emotions. God promises us peace, joy, wisdom, and guidance. He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. He promises us that He is with us no matter what, and He always keeps His word. 

So, if you’re ever in a situation and you’re thinking, Where's God? I thought He said He would do this? Remember that God didn't say that He would always do something for us but He did say He would always be something to us. He will be your help in times of trouble. 

You are not promised a pain-free, trouble-free life but, 

God absolutely promises to be with you in whatever you may face while giving you peace, joy and comfort in the middle of it. 

On hard days that make you question everything, take out your Bible and read the promises God has made you and give Him a chance to fulfill them. 

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The Choice of Self-Control

There is an important difference between self-control and self-discipline. In today’s short video, Pam shares the secret to finally possessing self-control, revealing that it all begins with a simple choice we each get to make every day.

Do you like to be in control of things? Wait, is that a resounding “yes” I hear from around the world?!

I think we all want to be in control. We often think that if we can control people, circumstances, or ourselves, it will result in the wonderful outcome of having everything we want. We’re sure that if we’re in control then we are guaranteed a great life - after all, we’re going to make it happen, right? Maybe, like me, you too have realized that this is definitely not the case. 

We want to control things so that we'll feel good about ourselves, so that things will go as we want them to, or so that we can be prepared for everything that comes our way with no surprises. But you know, that's just not how God designed us. 

God designed us to depend on Him, not our perceived ability to control things. 

We must be willing to say, “You know what? I can't figure this out so what does it look like to depend on God?” 

The beautiful thing about self-control is the Bible tells us that it’s a fruit of the Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23a (NASB) When I read the list of the fruit of the Spirit, self-control has never seemed to fit with the other characteristics but nonetheless, it's in Scripture. 

God tells us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. 

So, what does that look like lived out? Well first, I must understand who I truly am. My true self is my spirit because that’s where I connect to God, where He resides. The Holy Spirit resides IN me, the Creator of the universe resides IN me! Isn’t that incredible? God, who resides in the true me, in my spirit, wants to be my self-control, and He will do that as long as I allow Him to. When I try to control things my way, God stands back and says, “Okay, go for it!” Now, I think He does try and stop us sometimes, but He always gives us that choice. 

We have the choice of self-control but we must not confuse that with self-discipline. 

Self-discipline is the thinking that “I have to do this and have to do that,” and performing it all by my set of standards and laws. Self-control is when I’m depending on the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to control my self. 

I just love it when that fruit really blossoms in me and I know it will in you too as you rely on Christ in you to guide every step and everything you do as you take your hands off of the control you think you have. 

I pray that you’ll give God a chance to show you what this looks like in your life. 

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Every Spiritual Blessing: Your Daily Inheritance

Does our performance motivate God to bless us in return? When it comes to the Christian life, do we get what we put in? My friend, you’ve been blessed with an inheritance and, in today’s short video, Scott reveals the scandalous gift you’ve been given by our loving Heavenly Father.

The other day, I was asked a question: In the Christian life, what's the difference between investing and inheriting?

When we invest in anything, whether we’ve put in effort, time or money, the hope is always that we will get something back in return. And there is an aspect of this in the Christian life for us too, which is that we reap what we sow. Scripture tells us, “For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” Galatians 6:8 (KJV) But if this is the foundation of your Christian life, there's a problem because this thinking is based on YOU investing YOUR time and YOUR effort.

Some people believe that if they do their ten minutes of quiet time each day then they can expect God to bless them. Or if they give 10% of their financial earnings to God, then He will bless them a hundredfold. But you see, this thinking is all based on your performance motivating God to bless you in return. 

An inheritance, however, is not based on our performance. Inheritance is based on your birth; on your relationship with the person giving you the inheritance. We see this in the Christian life - God is our Father and we are His children. 

Our inheritance is based on the relationship that we have with the Father. 

It's like the story of the prodigal son, where there were, in fact, two prodigal sons. The oldest son believed he was investing and that, based on what he had put in, he should by now have earned the right to share in the fatted calf and to have a party with his friends. Meanwhile, the younger son went and squandered his inheritance, and yet the father received him back.

Inheritance is based on relationship. And Scripture tells us that we have inherited every spiritual blessing that we need, it's all in Christ Jesus! “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3 (NASB) Today, you have an inheritance - right now you can receive the blessings and benefits of what you have in Christ. 

For example, if you need acceptance today, you can rest, knowing that you already have it. Now, you might squander it, you might not draw upon what you have in Christ, and that could cause you to lose out on that part of your inheritance today, but tomorrow you have a brand new inheritance for that day. 

My friend, inheritance is not based on how well you perform; it's based on your relationship with the Father. Inheritance is, in fact, almost scandalous because it’s not based on you, it's based on the Father blessing you with every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus.

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The DIY Life

When it comes to life, trying to do it yourself never works out so well. But the good news is that God didn’t design you to do this life on your own. You can’t do it without Him! In today’s short video, Pam takes you to 2 Corinthians, where you’ll discover your loving Father who is your adequacy.

DIY - Do it yourself. It’s not a phrase I like to hear anymore. I used to do a lot of projects myself, but most of them turned out disastrous! Can you relate? The paint job is a mess, the faucet still leaks - my projects just never worked out in reality like it did for the guy on the Youtube video. Oftentimes I had to do it myself because it wasn’t in the budget to hire a professional. I simply did the best I could in my own strength. 

Over time, I’ve learned that when it comes to life, if you do it yourself, it doesn't always work out so well. One reason for that is, 

God did NOT design us to do life on our own. 

I was married for a number of years, and I tried to do my life, and my marriage, on my own the way I thought was best. I'm not sure I always included God on how to be in relationship, and it failed miserably.

We often find ourselves trying to do life ourselves, in our own strength and it just doesn't work. It’s God who is the Giver of Life. It’s God who is the One who wants us to live life abundantly. It’s God who is our adequacy. 

One day, I was reading 2 Corinthians and I came across a passage that blew me away. It says, “Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” 2 Corinthians 3:5-6 (NASB) I’ve read the Bible many times and I had never seen this before! God is my adequacy! You and I are not adequate in and of ourselves, but we are adequate as servants of God, not through the law of course, but through the Spirit. 

God makes you adequate. 

There have been so many times in my life that I've failed at things - I didn't know how to do them. There was even a time when I was trying to do accounting, I had made a mistake and I said, “God, I can't do this!” And He actually showed me the answer. God knows accounting! He knows how to paint, He knows how to do relationships, He knows how to parent and how to be a spouse and a friend. He is your adequacy. And when you depend on Him for your adequacy, He joins you through your personality to be the person He's called you to be in all of your relationships. 

Let's save the DIY projects for the house and not for doing life.

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When God’s Love Meets My Unicorn

When things in life don’t go the way we plan we can be left feeling broken and empty. In today’s short video, Michelle reveals that as long as we look to anyone but God for love, worth or acceptance, our souls will never be satisfied.

Have you noticed that unicorns are everywhere? Our culture seems to be obsessed with them! And it's not just preteen girls, I had an obsession with a unicorn, but probably not the one you're thinking of. 

A few years ago, my life was a tangled mess as I went through a separation and divorce. I started to obsess over my ideal picture of my estranged husband. My thoughts focused on what it could be like if a perfect version of the man I married showed up on the scene. My heart was holding on to the hope that I could finally get the love I desperately needed from the picture perfect version of my husband. 

Well, there were two problems with that. First, that man did not exist. The ideal image of my husband was a mythical creature, my unicorn. Secondly, even if he did exist, 

I was looking to him to be my source of unconditional love, rather than receiving that love from God Himself.

In the book of Philippians, it says, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8 (NASB) We are reminded to keep our thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic, real, honorable, admirable, beautiful, respectful, pure, holy, merciful, and kind. 

We are to fasten our thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising Him always. 

When God whispered in my ear that I was obsessing over a unicorn, it became clear that what my heart really longed for was to fasten my thoughts on Him, and be reminded of His authentic and real love. Are you obsessed with a unicorn? Maybe your unicorn, your mythical creature, is your own fantasy of your spouse, or maybe it’s your boss, your kids, or even yourself. Maybe it's not a person at all, maybe it's your fantasy lifestyle filled with riches and luxury to show that you've arrived. Perhaps it's a version of success that could make you feel valued and esteemed. 

As long as you look to a mythical unicorn for love, worth or acceptance, your soul will never be satisfied. So join me, and set your unicorn free, so you can be satisfied with the reality of God's love, acceptance, and great worth to Him.

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This is God's Will For You

Have you ever asked God for a revelation of His will for your life? Many Christians feel that discovering the will of God is a mystery we must seek to uncover, but in today’s short video, Pam reveals the answer through the words of Paul in 1 Thessalonians.

Do you remember heading out of the house when you were younger, only to hear your mom or dad shout a list of instructions at you on your way out the door? “Be careful, don’t drive too fast, only go where you said you’re going, be home on time!” - One thing after another. I remember those days! 

Recently, I was reading 1 Thessalonians 5. Paul wrote a great letter to the church, and at the end of that letter he does the very thing our parents used to do to us! He instructs the church to admonish the unruly, encourage the weak, help those in need, don't repay evil for evil, seek good, and finally, “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NASB)

Wait, did he just tell us what God's will for us is? 

At times in my life I have asked God over and over, “What is Your will for me? What's Your will for my life?” Have you ever done that? I think most of us have. Well, in chapter 5 of 1 Thessalonians it’s laid out pretty clearly for us.

Paul gives us a list and tells us, THIS is God's will for you!

This is an incredible revelation, but what usually ends up happening is that we look at this list and we think, “Okay, I can do this,” and so we try. We know that God calls us to give thanks in all things, we know that He calls us to pray about everything, we know what’s on the list but we quickly realize that, although this is God's will for us, we just can't do it. We try and we try, but we always fall short. 

We need to keep reading Paul’s words, because in the next few verses Paul tells us, “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (NASB) 

God called us into this life, and Paul reveals to us exactly what we’re being called into. So, could it possibly be that what God calls us into, He will be faithful to complete? I believe, yes, because that's what He says! 

The Holy Spirit lives inside you, and He is the One who completes the work that God started in you at your salvation. 

Think about that, isn’t that incredible? Next time you're wondering what God's will for you is, go to 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, read and see what God reveals to you. 

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Untangling Anxiety

Have you ever felt anxious about the future, worrying about what may happen and if you can handle it? In today’s short video, Pam walks you through the process of inviting God into your present moment, and reveals the beautiful promise God makes to His children when they do.

I think all of us have experienced anxiety from time to time, I know I have. Did you know that anxiety comes when we look to the future? We feel anxious when we wonder what's going to happen, how things will turn out, and if we can handle them. 

Anxiety is all about looking to the future and not seeing God there. 

Now, certainly there are conditions of anxiety that may need medical attention, and I encourage you to seek help if that's necessary. But today, I’d like to share with you a couple of things that God wants to talk to us about when it comes to anxiety.

God’s name is I Am. A number of years ago, God showed me that when I’m worried about the future, the best way to prepare for that future I’m so worried about, is to experience Him right now, in every single moment.

When I’m worried about something and fear starts to set in, I need to go to God and experience His character. 

I need to let God remind me of who He is, and who I am as His child. 

As I do this, new thoughts will fill my mind, and I’ll begin thinking, “God is with me, He's present, He’s for me, He's my Provider and my Encourager…” I keep doing this over and over, minute by minute, every time something comes along that I’m concerned about. 

When we practice His presence every minute, we discover that the thing we’re were afraid of either doesn’t happen, or if it does happen, God is there with us. Oftentimes, our anxiety is about the things we're afraid will happen. Our fears are often based on fiction. If we can understand that what we think about our future may not be true, and give God a chance to be present in the moment, I believe all of us would experience a lot more peace.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul asks God to remove the thorn in his flesh. Do you remember that story? Paul had a thorn in his flesh that was keeping him from doing what he wanted to do. I’m sure he was concerned, thinking, “What do I do if this never goes away?” God told Paul that He was not going to take it away BUT, He promised Paul that His grace would be sufficient for him. Grace is God's power, perfected in our weakness. 

When you're weak, not only is God strong, but you are strong. 

In those moments and times when you're thinking ahead and fictionalizing what might, or might not happen, take a breath, take a minute, and remember God's presence. He's your Provider, your strength, your courage, and your wisdom, your everything. He wants to walk this journey with you because His Grace is sufficient for all of your troubles. 

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Where God's Love Meets My Chaos

Fear is not from God - it brings nothing to our lives but chaos and confusion. God longs for His perfect love to meet you in the middle of that chaos. In today’s short video, Pam shares how God’s resurrection power can take you from fear into His love and acceptance.

We've all experienced chaos, haven’t we? Messy circumstances that tangle up our lives and our thoughts. Things happen and we get confused, our minds just start going to all kinds of places. I know there’s a lot of chaos in our lives, but I don’t know if we've all experienced God's love in the middle of that chaos. 

Often times, we wish that by inviting God into our mess that He would just get His “magic wand”,  wave it, and fix everything for us. 

We wish God would change our circumstances or our ways of thinking. 

We wish for Him to just take away the desires we have, take away the fears we’re facing. We think, “God, if You really wanted me to believe this, You’d just change it, and fix it for me.” I know we would all like that, but God doesn't work like that. In fact, God doesn't have a magic wand, but He does have something much more powerful, much more intimate and much more kind - His love. His unconditional love. 

The writer of 1 John says, “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” 1 John 4:16 (NASB) 

First we come to know God’s love, then we believe the love that God has for us. 

When we’re facing fear we may think, “What does love have to do with it?” If we have both love and fear, how do we connect them? Well, in reality, all of our chaos, anger, frustration, hurt and pain, are really just on the surface of deep fears that lay underneath. Most of our hurt and anger really comes from a place of fear.

We're afraid we're not lovable, we’re afraid we're not acceptable, or we're afraid we're going to be rejected. We're afraid of so much and God doesn't want that for us. He wants us to experience love in the middle of all our fears. He wants us to invite Him into it. As a matter of fact, many verses in scripture tell us, 

• Fear not, for behold I will… 

• Fear not, for I am with you. 

• Fear not, I am your comfort. 

• Fear not, I am your strength. 

• Fear not, I will never leave you or forsake you.

Scripture tells us that His perfect love casts out our fears, and He invites us into that. A lot of these verses are so powerful, but my favorite is found in 2 Timothy. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

My friend, it is so important to remember that fear is not from God. His love is powerful, and His resurrection power takes you from fear into His love and acceptance. God will give you a sound mind. In the midst of your chaos, your thoughts can get so crazy. Chaos can steal your sound mind thinking. When you get in that panic mode, God says, “Hey, I'm in this with you. Relax, I've got this!” When you start receiving His love, and begin having more clarity of thought you will be able to hear His direction and wisdom. He invites you into that, and He just can't wait to join you in the middle of your chaos with His perfect love. 

I hope you are experiencing His perfect love in the middle of your chaos today.

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Knowing You're a Child of God Changes Everything

I love that God uses everyday events to reveal to us the truth of who we are. One night I was in the middle of making dinner when God revealed a wound of mine. Let me start by saying my husband is a very kind and loving man and this really had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me. You see, my husband is an amazing cook. People tell him all the time that he missed his calling, that he should’ve been a chef. Whenever he cooks, he critiques his own cooking and tells me what he could’ve added to make it better and what he plans to do differently next time.

But this night, I had cooked. I worked for a while in the kitchen to prepare our meal and when he came home from work I served him a plate. He sat down at the table and began to eat. After a few minutes he said “Wow, this is really good. It's a really good meal! But you know what would have made this even more tasty?” I'm sure you can guess what happened next. He had come close to a wound, one that I didn’t even know I had but it would rear its ugly head from time to time when someone came close to it.

I immediately threw a wall up. In my mind, I had already shut him out for the evening and if it was up to me that would have been the end of it. But in that moment God hit the pause button and questions began to flood into my mind. 

“What did you just hear him say? What did you just hear your husband say?” 

So I answered Him. “I heard ‘You're never enough. No matter what you do, you just aren't enough. You just don't measure up.’” 

And God said “Yes, that’s what you heard, but is that what he said?” 

“No.”

“Is that true of you?”

“No.”

“Is that who you are?”

“No.”

I asked God to show me what the truth was about me, and He did! 

The truth is my identity is in Christ, not my performance at all. 

God asked, “Who do you think might have deceived you about yourself? Whose hand do you see in this? It's the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy.” And gently, in love He began to remind me that He created me with my talents, my abilities, my weaknesses, and my strengths, and that I could rest in His design of me. 

I am enough because I am His creation. 

He reminded me of a verse in Ephesians, “For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago” Ephesians 2: 10 (NLT).

I am a masterpiece. Wow. I saw the hand of the thief who had tried to steal from me and also from my marriage that evening. But thanks be to God, His truth set me free (John 8:32).

I took down the wall I had put up between my husband and I, picked up my fork, joined my husband, and enjoyed my evening together with him. 

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Jesus Didn’t Die to Set You Partially Free

When I was a little girl, I asked my mom how to spell “hafta”. “Hafta?” she asked. “Use it in a sentence and then I can tell you.” I said, “I hafta go to the store.” She laughed to the point of tears. Her tears were from laughter, my tears were from hurt and embarrassment. There were always so many “haftas” and I tried really hard to accomplish them all, but I always came up short. 

When I became a Christian as a young girl, there were even more “haftas”. I had to read my Bible, tithe, witness, attend church, pray, serve at church and help people. I learned how to serve and by the time I was a young adult I was a tired, defeated, wounded warrior in the Kingdom of God. 

I knew I was going to heaven, but I certainly wasn't experiencing the abundance of the Christian Life. 

One day I just stopped it all. I didn’t go to church. I didn’t pray. I stepped down from all my church responsibilities. I just quit. This was not the abundant Life I had hoped for. I was done. 

Thankfully, God saw my hurt and confusion. He saw that I was trying to live out the Christian life from my own strength. He was okay with my decision to quit. In fact, He was delighted! 

He wanted me to be free from my performance perspective so He could show me a better way - the freedom way.

He showed me a passage in Colossians where it says, “Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.” Colossians 2:6-7 (NASB) What a contrast that is to what I had imagined the Christian life was supposed to be like! The life I was living was one of hardship, burden, struggle, agony and pain. My life was very difficult. I tried hard but never seemed to succeed. I had certainly never experienced the kind of abundant Life that Jesus promised. 

I’ve come to discover that God wasn’t expecting me to achieve things for Him through living by the rules of the Christian life, but instead, by depending on Him for His wisdom, guidance, and ability to flow through me. That realization has changed everything for me. 

Another verse that has meant so much to me these last ten years is in Galatians, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free.” Galatians 5:1a (NASB) I am now free from law because I understand that God accepts me as His child, not as an expert in performance. 

I’ve exchanged a life of stress and chaos for a restful relationship. I now walk in victory instead of constant failure, and freedom instead of bondage. 

The only thing I “hafta” do now, is trust that I am no longer bound to my own set of rules and I am rooted in Him and am free to allow His Life to flow through me.  

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The Unexpected Gift of Saying No to Fear

Who knew God could, and would, reach into the depths of my despair and bring me to a place of peace? The doctor’s report was not good. I had been experiencing health issues for some time and the latest prognosis left me terrified. I was afraid God was out to get me. I was afraid that I had failed God. I was convinced that, because I had failed Him, He was going to take my life. I tried to find answers by going to counseling and I worked through some very hard things. But finding life again really came down to making a choice: 

Would I trust God, and trust my fear and my life to Him, or would I keep running and hiding? 

I felt like my physical life and my emotional life were at stake and I was running from the very One who could help me and give me peace. But I was afraid of how He would handle it.

One night I just couldn’t stand it anymore and I said, “Okay, God, let’s get this settled. I am so afraid that if I surrender that You will take my life – literally, or at the very least I am afraid You’ll take everything from me: my health, my money, my friends or my family.  I am afraid of what You will do in my life if I actually give You permission to have Your way. I am afraid to trust You.” In His faithfulness, God led me to these words found in Matthew:

“Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil (non-believer), know how to give good gifts to your children (child of God), how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:9-11 (NASB)

What a promise! God wants good for me! He is for me. He doesn’t want me to be afraid. He wants me to live – really live! He came to give Life and He wants me to die to what I think is best and live to His Word! 

I decided to give up trying – and trust.

I'm going to simply trust Him to be the God that He really is and not the God I had made up. I told God, “I give my life to You to love, to care for, and to guide me in a way that brings Life to me and glory to You.” 

God showed me that He is for me and that His perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). I can’t control what might happen. I can’t control what is actually happening, but I can control if I trust God or not. Things in life still scare me: my health, my finances, my relationships, or if I am going to measure up, but now I leave these things in His hands and trust my Father to watch over me.

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Want Amazing Relationships?

All I wanted was for him to love me. That day we stood at the marriage altar and said our vows, he promised to love and protect me until death do us part. The future was so full of hope, and I felt so happy and secure. But then it changed somehow. I don’t really know when, I just know I started sinking, and just kept sinking. Overcome by feelings of anxiety, I found myself in a dark pit of depression. The security, worth and acceptance I had once felt had vanished. What my husband could give me just wasn’t enough, and nothing I did brought any peace. I was drowning in darkness. 

I couldn’t go on living like this so I finally reached out for help. Talking to a counselor was encouraging, and praying and journaling helped me to process things internally. I was able to recognize some of the anger and hurt that I was holding on to. These things were good, but it was God who rescued me from the pit. 

I realized that I had been afraid to fully depend on God, so I was desperately trying to get my husband to be more. I had been putting my hope in my husband, and there was no rest. God showed me Psalm 62:5 and His words spoke right to my heart.

 “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him.” Psalm 62:5 (NIV)

My anxious, little heart could finally rest because my hope is not in my husband meeting my needs for acceptance, security, love and worth—my hope is in God who has already taken care of all of my needs. 

I don’t need to be validated or loved by anyone but Jesus. His love is all I need.

When I realized that God was the source of Life, I was able to let my husband off the hook. I went to him one day, and told him, “You're free. I’m no longer depending on you to meet my needs. God is the One who will meet my needs for love, acceptance, worth, and security. He defines me now as lovable, acceptable, valuable, and secure. So I'm going to set you free and I’m going to trust God to be my Life source.”

Little did I know, my husband had been going through his own struggles, and later I found out that he had been just as miserable as I was. He wanted love and acceptance from me, but I had been too caught up in my own misery to see it. He had begun to distance himself from me and our family, in an attempt to numb all the pain he felt. When I shared my journey with him, we were able to start talking and working together. We began to accept the truth that God’s love is enough to sustain both of us and over time we have seen some wonderful changes in our home. By depending on God as our ultimate source we can freely give love, acceptance, worth and value to each other.  

As we rely on God and seek Him together we are growing in our love for one another. 

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Is the Work Ever Done?

There he is on the street corner again. There’s always someone there, holding their sign telling of their need...money, food, a job. Every day someone is there, and every day I feel more tired. I feel guilty, too. I can’t just ignore them! They probably need food and Jesus, but I just can’t help everyone. I already work at the food kitchen on Saturday mornings and go witnessing with my church group every Tuesday night. Where is the line? How much is enough?

I’ve always wanted to serve God, I mean, isn’t that why He saved me? 

I’ve always thought that He saved me so that I could love and serve others. That means if anyone is hungry, I’m to feed them. If anyone needs a cup of water, I’m to give it. If anyone needs a coat, I’m to provide it. If anyone is sad, I’m to cheer them up. If anyone needs a helping hand, I need to raise mine. If someone doesn’t know the Lord, I have to tell them. The list of needs can get overwhelming, but if I don’t jump in, won’t God be mad and disappointed in me? I used to think so. I wished He would just give me a list of what He needed me to do each day, then I could check it off and be done. But I have no list and I feel like I never do enough. 

How can I rest when there is always more to be done? 

I’ve lived a good portion of my adult life trying to live like this—trying to meet the needs of others because that’s what I believed I should do – after all it is in the Bible. I did my best— worked, served, and checked off the lists in my head. But the tasks were never done. I began to find myself thinking, “There’s not enough time in the day to live a regular life and serve God!” I couldn’t keep it up and that made me feel like a complete failure. I really wanted to serve, but I had nothing left to give—I was drained, empty and exhausted. I was secretly longing for someone to let me off the hook, for someone to tell me I had done enough. I wanted to know that God had seen my effort. Was I pleasing enough yet?

This weight pushed me to start asking for help. I wanted answers to these questions. As God began revealing things to me, I saw that I actually did love to serve, but that love was not the driving force behind what I was doing. I realized what was driving me was the idea that “I have to serve in order to please God.” 

I was chasing after God’s approval. I had a gaping hole and was filling it with all the tasks I could do for Him.

I had believed that “I need to serve to be okay. I need to serve in order to be enough.” I was trying to prove I could do it while knowing it would never be enough. Now I realize I was carrying a weight that wasn’t mine to carry!  2 Corinthians 3:5 says, “Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.” 

He IS my adequacy! He promises to accomplish His work through me, it’s not up to me anymore. 

I hear His voice as my Father, “You are my child, I love and accept you”. I realize that I have nothing more to prove. I now understand that God does not want me to work for Him, He wants me to work from Him—from His strength, from His direction, from His wisdom and from His solutions. He wants me to participate in what He is doing, not try to provide for people from my own resources. I no longer serve to be accepted. Now, because I know I am accepted, I’m free to serve! 

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The Reason You Can Keep Going

It was one of those mornings, one we can all relate to. I had slept in, there was no time for a shower, I broke my favorite coffee mug, and I was forced to eat breakfast on the run. I finally made it to the car and turned the engine on, ready to leave for work, only to discover the check engine light was on. My mind was spinning and I felt my anxiety rise as I wondered who could help me, I didn’t know which way to turn. 

“What is wrong with me?” I thought. “It's not like I'm dying or anything. It's just a check engine light in your car.” I decided to just keep on with my normal routine. I left my house to get a tea and have my quiet time.  As I was walking into the place to get my tea I thought, “Call Ed.” That’s my mechanic. Well, that was simple enough. I tried calling but he didn’t answer. 

So, I went in and had my quiet time. I said, “Okay Lord, I'm ready for some direction here. I need to know what to do.” Just as I was leaving my phone rang. It was Ed. I told him what was going on and he said, “Well, just go and get your oil changed.” But once I got off the phone, I panicked again. Where should I go to get the oil changed? I couldn’t remember. I just couldn’t think. 

I looked up and in the corner of the parking lot was an oil change place. I went in and they changed the oil but they couldn’t determine why the light was on. They sent me to another mechanic. And I thought, “Okay, okay, I'll just do the next thing and then I'll do the thing after that.” I went to the next mechanic and they took me in right away. One hour and $25 later I walked out and the problem was solved. 

I was so grateful. I felt like God had directed my path every step of the way. But I couldn't figure out why I was so overwhelmed. It was such a simple thing. Why did it bother me so much? Then this thought came to me and I’m sure it was my Father God, “Sweetheart, you were worried that you would need a new car and you don't think you can afford it.” Well, that was true. I was fearful that there was a bigger problem than I couldn’t handle and that fear made it hard for me to deal with even a small problem. I had forgotten the beautiful promise of Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (NKJV)

God cares about every little thing. He guides our steps even when we feel like we can’t possibly keep going. 

He is with us in the middle of our panic and worry, and we can trust Him to be able to take us through it one step at a time. 

No matter what you may be facing today, may you keep going, knowing that He will guide you through to the next step. And when a bigger problem comes later, like needing a new car, He will direct that step as well.

The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9 (NASB)

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How a Time of Waiting Can Become an Intimate Season With God

Have you ever felt totally uncertain and out of control in this life? I have. I had left a job and was in a season that I would call a “wilderness time” and I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should search for another job, I didn't know if I should start my own ministry, I was so unsure of my next move. It seemed like I was just waiting and waiting for something to happen. 

I came to realize that this time, my “wilderness time” was important. I needed to embrace this time of transition between what was and what was going to be. It was during this time that a friend gave me this verse from Hosea which reads “I will allure her and take her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her heart” (2:14). Isn’t that beautiful? 

Even in our wilderness, we are not alone.  And not only are we not alone, while we’re there with God, He wants to speak tenderly to us.

This is the time in which I learned to trust. My trust in God and my relationship with Him became deeper and more intimate. I spent a lot of time journalling my feelings, praying and listening to Him speak to me during my confusion, uncertainty and waiting. 

Almost one year to the day that I had left my job, I received a phone call from Grace Ministries International asking me to come on staff. Since I was resting in that wilderness space I was able to pray deeply about it and really take the time to make sure that this was what God wanted for me. And as I prayed God gave me this verse from the Song of Solomon, “Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?” (8:5).

When I saw that scripture, I knew that God was telling me, “I'm leading you,” and I took the job with an open and joyful heart. God knows we get weary during the difficult, dark times that we face, and so He remains with us always, even inviting us to rest on Him as He leads us out of our wilderness.

That time of waiting was a season of preparation, and that season of getting back to the foundation of my faith was so important. I needed to spend that time in the wilderness with Him to embrace what He was teaching me and showing me. I had no idea how much He wanted to speak intimately to my heart in the midst of all that confusion and uncertainty.

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How to Have Certainty in the Midst of Chaos

It began with an end. The end of homeschooling and teaching. After our youngest graduated high school, we decided that I would go back to work full-time to help clean up the debt we had piled up through the years. I knew in my heart that I was called to do “Kingdom Work” but an opportunity came for a full-time job with good pay, good benefits, and working with a friend. The biggest drawback in my mind was that it was corporate America. But, because the positives seemed to outweigh the negatives, I ignored the call of my heart. 

As a Christian, I was certainly a minority in the workplace. Foul language was the norm around the office and if you didn't have an alcohol-related story to tell, it wasn't anything anyone was interested in hearing. As time passed, I found myself physically and emotionally exhausted. I have Crohn's disease, so I battle chronic fatigue and other physical symptoms. Some days were physically good. Other days, I cried from exhaustion in the shower first thing in the morning asking Jesus for His strength to make it through the day. Each day I would go to work, come home, nap, eat dinner, and then go straight back to bed. By the time the weekends rolled around, I did nothing but rest to try to be ready for the upcoming week. I pushed myself to the limits trying to stay in this job because we needed the money, and because my friend worked there and I would have felt guilty if I quit. 

I lasted six months before I broke down emotionally and my husband simply said, "Just walk away, it isn't worth it. Your health is more important than any paycheck you could earn." After a couple more weeks of denial and tears, fear and guilt, I turned in my resignation. What I didn't know at the time was that I was losing both my job and my friend. When I resigned, she told me that she was so angry with me she would "let me know when she wanted to speak to me again."  Which, as it turned out, was never again.  

It was a messy, sad story full of chaos and financial mess, but Jesus was there through it all. 

The beauty of our Father’s love for us, is that even in our mistakes, our confusion, our hurt and pain, He never leaves us. In Jeremiah 29:11-13, God speaks these gentle words to our hearts that can become so full of chaos, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

He was already in my tomorrows and had a plan in place. Before I resigned I had asked God to help me find a job that would honor Him and be “Kingdom Work;” the work I knew I was called to do.

I shared the desires of my heart with a friend, and told her how I had been seeking God’s hand in this area of new employment. About a week later that same friend sent me a job posting, curious if it might be a good fit for me. Because of God’s love and faithfulness I am now working at that very job and feel blessed to be there! 

God knows the plans He has for us, and they’re always plans to prosper us, plans to give us a hope and a future. I was called to His Kingdom Work, and despite the fact that at one time I chose to ignore that call on my life, He in His faithfulness made a way for me back to His work and His plans. God reached into my life and restored my calling.

I have come to realize that the loss of that friend was actually a blessing. Sometimes the Gardener removes people from our lives that are toxic like weeds, we just can't see it because we are too close to them. Now that she is no longer a part of my life, I have less stress, and my husband and I have time to cultivate healthy friendships with other people we once didn't have time for.

I have come from a place of chaos and uncertainty to a place of freedom and calm. I can look back and see that God had this plan in place and He worked it together for His good.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NASB)

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How God Provides What’s Missing from Our Lives

This week, as God has been doing His work and searching my heart, some issues came up. I started experiencing feelings of inadequacy and I noticed that this has been a pattern for me my whole life; I feel inadequate and then I stuff those feelings down. But this time, I knew that I couldn’t run away, I knew it was time to face these issues head on. 

These kinds of feelings can be tough for us to walk through, especially when we feel we’ll have to face them alone. For me, having to face my pain of inadequacy made me feel as though I was literally dying, but I knew God was bringing these things to the surface in my life, and I knew I had to face it. I cried out to God and told Him that I felt so afraid and overwhelmed, and in His love and faithfulness He reminded me of the song, “Surrounded” by Michael W. Smith. The words say, “It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You. This is how I fight my battles.” 

I thought, “Lord, I feel like I'm surrounded by death, but I know that I'm surrounded by You, so I'm going to lean into You and see what You have to say and what You want to show me.” 

As I was processing these feelings I talked to my husband and was sharing with him how I have always felt like I'm just not capable, like I'm just stuck somewhere. And he asked me, “When you were younger, how often did your parents ever praise you? How often did they say something  good or uplifting to you?” This was a hard question for me to be asked, because when I looked back, I knew I had never had life spoken into me. No one ever said to me, “Oh, you're going to do great when you grow up or you’re gifted to do this or that.” I didn't even go to college because I believed I wasn’t smart enough. So I prayed and kept digging into these things, and I realized that my whole life I had desperately longed to hear words of encouragement from my mother. In fact, even as an adult that longing was still there.

Something needed to change because I just couldn’t carry this pain around with me anymore. I then came across Psalm 68, where it reads “To the fatherless he is a father. To the widow he is a champion friend. To the lonely he makes them part of a family.” (Psalm 68:5 TPT)

I began to realize that I could trust God to give me the things that were missing from my life.

As time passed, despite God’s incredible revelation, the darkness of these wounds still tried to flood over me. And I still, at times, look to other people and things to fill the empty places within me. When this happens Father reminds me of His grace, and is teaching me to be gracious with myself, as I continue to resolve these deep rooted issues. I am still learning to turn my eyes upon Jesus, the only one who can pull these weeds out by the roots, but I have this new measure of joy that I can persevere through these difficult times. 

The Lord reminded me of the story of the grain of wheat that has to die in the ground. 

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24 (NASB)

I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of grains of wheat. In fact, I have a whole bag! Soon after God brought me this verse, I was in a class and my dear friend said something that went straight to my heart. She was talking about that question we all ask, “Who am I?” As I listened to her speak I prayed for God to show me who I am because I never had a sense of identity or anything spoken to me by my parents. My friend read us a children’s book, called When God Made You. As she read, it was like my mother was reading to me, telling me who I am. It was exactly what I needed to hear and I thought, “God, You're so good to me!”  

I'm still going through process of forgiving my mom and I still have a lot of grains to go through in my bag of wheat but I’m learning that God is faithful just as He promises us in His word. He will provide what is missing from my life and yours, in the most unique ways, as we trust Him. 

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The Gift God Gives in Exchange for Our Worries

Another sleepless night. Another night of wondering if my son is okay when I don't hear from him. When he goes dark, I know there's something wrong. He often struggles with depression. When I didn’t hear from him I began to worry just as I had done many times before.  After about a day or so I realized, “Well, this isn’t doing any good. It’s just making me anxious.” So I prayed, “Okay God, I can't fix this. I can't. I don't know what to say to him. I'm not in contact with him so I can't say anything anyway. I don't know what he needs. I don't know the problem that he’s dealing with. I don't know the solution. I don't know how to help. He's my son. I love him. I want him to do well.” 

I then heard God say to me, “You’re My daughter and he's My son and I want you both to do well. You're My job and he's My job, so why don't you let Me take care of this?”

So I said, “Okay, God, I trust him into your care. You love him more than I do; afterall, He is yours. You've got the answers, You have the wisdom, You know the history, You know the present, You know the future. You know just the words that he needs to hear to bring him out of the darkness. I don't.” The more I kept entrusting myself and my son into God's care the more my burdens kept lifting and lifting and lifting. Finally I came to this place of understanding that God has got this - God has me and my son. God knows what to do and He knows when. He even tells us in His Word, 

Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for He always tenderly cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (TPT)

I can’t say that I haven't fallen into doubt again about myself or a loved one, because I still do. Every time the people I love and care about are hurting I want to help them. But it’s not my job. I have to trust Him with myself and my family for our well-being. I am willing to get involved and God can use me, but ultimately it’s up to Him.  He hasn’t let me down and I know He's not going to. Circumstances don't always change; in fact, they rarely do, but I can change. I can get to a place of peace, rest, and quiet in Him, and so can you, because God promises that to us in His word. He has a gift for all of His children, it's peace in exchange for worry, and this free gift changes everything! 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Philippians 4: 6-7 (NASB)

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Welcome to LifeUntangled.com!

My name is Pam O’Gwin, and God has been untangling my life for many years.

The ways He has untangled my thoughts and feelings are endless; from rejection, from feeling like a constant disappointment, from failed relationships, and Bible verses that brought nothing but confusion to me. Father left no stone unturned, even untangling the distance from Him I felt existed.

Despite all that,God has cleared up much of my tangled and negative thoughts about Him and about me. He continues to bring clarity and understanding the truth of His Word.

You know, as a teen I often wondered if this “Abundant Life” I’d heard so much about was even possible. I knew I wasn’t experiencing it, and neither were my Christian friends. Fast forward through many questions over many years, and I can see God’s faithfulness in showing me that yes -an abundant life is possible with Him. Even more:

…an abundant life is His intention for me! It’s a free gift to all for the taking.

Maybe you’re like I once was, full of questions and confusion. Perhaps you’re in the midst of chaos right now, feeling very alone and wondering if there’s a way out. Or maybe you’re weary, praying that there’s more for you in this life with God than what you’re experiencing right now.

Let me invite you on a journey, an adventure that will lead you to the answers you’re so desperate for.

No one can deny that life gets all tangled up and messy, and we walk around with so much pain, hurt and confusion from it all, pain we were never designed to carry. But we don’t have to feel tied up, bound, or stuck!

Welcome to Life Untangled! This new ministry seeks to join you in your chaos and walk with you as you discover God’s guidance into a life filled to the brim with joy, peace and freedom: the abundant life.

Life Untangled was designed for those longing to experience God’s love in the middle of their chaos.

Life Untangled is a new ministry that is a part of Grace Ministries International. Grace Ministries International exists to equip the body of Christ to experience and communicate the indwelling, empowering presence of Christ as life. We do this through one-on-one discipleship counseling, conferences, small group studies and in-depth training both domestic and internationally. God has impacted thousands of lives through the counseling and training ministry at Grace Ministries International, but it is our heart to reach people that may not be in crisis and need counseling or who don’t have the time or desire to receive in-depth training.

Through our online community and website, we offer a space where you can find others with similar questions and beliefs, while receiving daily, compact but life-changing teachings through our mailing list, articles, videos, and ebooks.

Do you feel tangled up in the circumstances of life? An untangled mind while in the middle of tangled circumstances truly can be yours, my friend.

Life IS messy, but God promises to meet us in the chaos.

God has wired us for community. Will you join us? I am so looking forward to going on this adventure with you!