Another sleepless night. Another night of wondering if my son is okay when I don't hear from him. When he goes dark, I know there's something wrong. He often struggles with depression. When I didn’t hear from him I began to worry just as I had done many times before. After about a day or so I realized, “Well, this isn’t doing any good. It’s just making me anxious.” So I prayed, “Okay God, I can't fix this. I can't. I don't know what to say to him. I'm not in contact with him so I can't say anything anyway. I don't know what he needs. I don't know the problem that he’s dealing with. I don't know the solution. I don't know how to help. He's my son. I love him. I want him to do well.”
I then heard God say to me, “You’re My daughter and he's My son and I want you both to do well. You're My job and he's My job, so why don't you let Me take care of this?”
So I said, “Okay, God, I trust him into your care. You love him more than I do; afterall, He is yours. You've got the answers, You have the wisdom, You know the history, You know the present, You know the future. You know just the words that he needs to hear to bring him out of the darkness. I don't.” The more I kept entrusting myself and my son into God's care the more my burdens kept lifting and lifting and lifting. Finally I came to this place of understanding that God has got this - God has me and my son. God knows what to do and He knows when. He even tells us in His Word,
Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for He always tenderly cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (TPT)
I can’t say that I haven't fallen into doubt again about myself or a loved one, because I still do. Every time the people I love and care about are hurting I want to help them. But it’s not my job. I have to trust Him with myself and my family for our well-being. I am willing to get involved and God can use me, but ultimately it’s up to Him. He hasn’t let me down and I know He's not going to. Circumstances don't always change; in fact, they rarely do, but I can change. I can get to a place of peace, rest, and quiet in Him, and so can you, because God promises that to us in His word. He has a gift for all of His children, it's peace in exchange for worry, and this free gift changes everything!
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6-7 (NASB)