Have you ever felt totally uncertain and out of control in this life? I have. I had left a job and was in a season that I would call a “wilderness time” and I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should search for another job, I didn't know if I should start my own ministry, I was so unsure of my next move. It seemed like I was just waiting and waiting for something to happen.
I came to realize that this time, my “wilderness time” was important. I needed to embrace this time of transition between what was and what was going to be. It was during this time that a friend gave me this verse from Hosea which reads “I will allure her and take her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her heart” (2:14). Isn’t that beautiful?
Even in our wilderness, we are not alone. And not only are we not alone, while we’re there with God, He wants to speak tenderly to us.
This is the time in which I learned to trust. My trust in God and my relationship with Him became deeper and more intimate. I spent a lot of time journalling my feelings, praying and listening to Him speak to me during my confusion, uncertainty and waiting.
Almost one year to the day that I had left my job, I received a phone call from Grace Ministries International asking me to come on staff. Since I was resting in that wilderness space I was able to pray deeply about it and really take the time to make sure that this was what God wanted for me. And as I prayed God gave me this verse from the Song of Solomon, “Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?” (8:5).
When I saw that scripture, I knew that God was telling me, “I'm leading you,” and I took the job with an open and joyful heart. God knows we get weary during the difficult, dark times that we face, and so He remains with us always, even inviting us to rest on Him as He leads us out of our wilderness.
That time of waiting was a season of preparation, and that season of getting back to the foundation of my faith was so important. I needed to spend that time in the wilderness with Him to embrace what He was teaching me and showing me. I had no idea how much He wanted to speak intimately to my heart in the midst of all that confusion and uncertainty.